What if?

It’s a question I find myself asking a lot these days…and one I was thinking about this morning on my foggy commute in.

What if I mess up? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I miss my chance? What if no one cares? What if I care too much?

What if?

Do you ask “what if?” too? Is it a question that greets you at night? Meets you in the morning? Waits for you at the door?

I turned 23 a couple of months ago. I view birthdays as my “New Year’s Day” more than January 1. A birthday marks a chance to look back, look ahead, and be thankful for the present. This year, my twenty-third year, I don’t want to be paralyzed by the what-ifs.

Mistakes, misdirected paths, embarrassing moments, dashed hopes–they aren’t death. They might feel like death in their own way, but I want to hold fast to the truth that the ‘what if moments’ are what shape us into who we were made to be and set us towards what we were made to do.

This morning the thick fog on my morning commute reminded me that though it’s hard to see past the ‘what ifs,” I have the assurance of my destination. I choose to look forward with hope. I choose to keep driving.

Onward, friends.

—

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.