The Bad

• INTERNET COMPANIES MAKE ME SAD: So I really like using the internet for fun things, like listening to music, the streaming of intriguing spy shows starring absurdly handsome British actor Tom Hiddleston, and/or Googling of things like “my kitchen sink stopped working what do I do.” The downside of this modern convenience is that it costs bango bucks. As I received my first internet bill, a single tear rolled down my face. I went upstairs into my bedroom, changed into my mourning clothes, closed the blinds in my living room and turned off the lights, and held a candlelight vigil in remembrance of the “disposable income” category on my budget spreadsheet.

• PEANUT BUTTER FANATIC NO MORE: My body has officially decided to make my life HORRIBLE by suddenly and swiftly becoming super allergic to peanut butter and other nuts. Now I’m not going to die if I eat peanut butter, but considering that my eyes began to water profusely and my hands swelled after I had a handful of almonds the other day at work, I think it’s safe to say that my days of impulsive peanut butter consumption are over. Is this what a quarter-life crisis feels like?!?
• TOM HIDDLESTON IS NOW DATING TAYLOR SWIFT: They’re actually a lovely couple but now that means that we can never fall in love and/or use our couple name: “Hiddleberger.”

The Funny 

• PARKING IN PITTSBURGH: If you’ve ever spent more than 2 hours in Pittsburgh, you know that the parking situation of this city is what we deem “unique.” With its vast number of one-way streets and its steep hills, street parking in Pittsburgh is always an adventure. So far I have avoided parallel parking like a junior high boy avoids conversations revolving around discussing his emotions, but I feel in my bones that my time is near. But for now, I have parked an actual whole mile away from my destination so that I didn’t have to parallel park. “I’m burning extra calories from all those chocolate chips I compulsively consumed out my pantry!” I tell myself as I tromp through the streets of Pittsburgh to my various destinations.
• FIRST IMPRESSION=NO, I HAVEN’T BEEN SWIMMING THAT’S JUST MY SWEAT: I try to make a decent first impression when I know it’s coming. Last Sunday I ventured out for the first time to a new church I’m attending, and as I rode to church, I blasted the air conditioning in an attempt to not look like Professor Trelawney upon my arrival. Once I got there though, the very warm meeting room quickly disturbed any appearances of me being calm, cool, and/or collected, and by the end of the service I’m pretty sure I looked like I had just spent a couple hours in a YMCA sauna chamber. No one around me seemed too disturbed though by my disheveled appearance, so I think I found the right church!

The Good  

• COMMUNITY GARDEN: There is a lovely community garden near where I live that I recently got to spend an evening tending to. After working all throughout high school and through college for a greenhouse, it was so nice to return back to the dirt and plants and spend time in the garden. It is truly rejuvenating to spend time doing activities like this since my primary workday involves me moving different digital objects around a computer screen all day long. I hope to return to the garden soon to get back in touch with a part of me that I don’t always get to exercise!
• I HOSTED PEOPLE AND IT WAS PLEASANT: I have a new-found appreciation for the master-cook and hostess that is my mother. Her ability to host parties with ease while serving incredibly delicious food is impressive, and I am filled with respect at her ability to coordinate the different cooking times of the dishes so that they all are ready at the same time. I tried my hand at hosting last week, and prepared tacos. They were tasty, people enjoyed them, and everyone seemed happy and even had extra helpings of cake! I hosted people! And they seemed happy! Everything was hot! And edible! 3 cheers!
• THE KELLYS: My mom’s parents recently celebrated their 76th wedding anniversary, and I got to spend some time with them last week on a vacation day from work. My Grandpa is 90 years old, and it is truly amazing to see how him and my grandmother live out their marriage vows each day. Their bible sits by the fridge, and I know part of their daily routine includes doing devotions and prayer time together. Though their life looks so differently from when they were tromping around the jungles of Brazil back in the 1950s, babies strapped to their backs, I am amazed to see a couple that truly exemplifies what keeping marriage vows looks like from age 24 all the way to age 90.

In Summary